Are we high maintenance? Matt and I have come to the realization that we might just be. How embarrassing! While we each have our little *things* that make us somewhat control freaks....and while Matt has his hilarious breakfast routine...it's really our night-time thing that got us thinking.
No matter what we do, no matter what time we eat dinner or brush our teeth.....watch a movie or not.... we CANNOT turn out the light before 11:18 pm. I mean, what??? Why such a specific number you may wonder? Well, when we get in the bed, it goes something like this:
-Matt laughs at me and my pillows (see post below)
-I put on my chap stick and lotion because I HATE going to sleep with dry lips and/or hands.
-I also turn on the fan and the noise-maker. I can't sleep without noise, call me crazy, but it's awesome!
-THIS is when I look at the clock to make sure the alarm is set and realize that it is yet again, 11:18. Never fails. How is it possible that we usually do that at the same time most nights?
-We turn out the lights say good night and such, and then, in the dark, Matt starts shifting his feet around b/c he has a *thing* with the covers touching his feet.
Let me explain Matt's *thing*: it sort of collides with my *thing* with the covers. I can't sleep if they're dis-organized. Oh my gosh, I sound crazy! But the sheets need to be straight with the comforter...and they can't be crooked on the bed. I promise, I'll wake up in the night and while asleep, fix them. I don't know what's wrong with me! So, back to Matt's *thing* - when I pull the covers up straight, it makes them tight on his feet...and then he starts the shifting thing. He says that he really needs a "pup-tent" for his feet, so that they have their *space* at the end of the bed. I mean, have you ever heard of such a thing??? Are there others out there who suffer from "squished-foot" and would benefit from such an invention? I know I'm totally NOT the one to be laughing at Matt's *thing* given my own many *things* that I'm weird about....but this is soooo funny to me!
So, after writing this...and re-reading it.....I've come to the conclusion that YES, we're crazy. I only hope that by sharing our insanity with you, you can have a laugh at our expense. Feel free, we deserve it.
Oh, and yes, we're probably high maintenance. Should I be insecure about that? The good news is, it's not this way with everything.....just most things.
I'm sure Graham will be some sort of "therapy" for our problems.
Oh, and should we invent this so-called "pup-tent"??? Is there a market out there for such a thing for weirdos like us?
When I Saw Ruth’s Potatoes
1 year ago
11 comments:
My Dear Steels,
Indeed, these idiosyncrasies can be termed "high maintenance." There is no hope for you or your son. :) Our daughter will probably take after her mother and be quite the opposite when it comes to organized sheet or routines. Opposites attract?
As for me, I too suffer from the "squished foot," and would buy a "pup-tent." I thought I was the only one, but now can sleep easier knowing that someone else in this world hates it when his feet are constricted. Pun intended.
Dude. I smell a patent. I've been thinking about the pup tent for YEARS. Really I just need it for my left foot, which obstinately points toward the stars when I lay on my back. The right foot just flops over like over-cooked spaghetti due to my misaligned joints.
Matt and Scott, the Foot Tent could be the name.
Ah, Matt...you also have MJS. I thought I was all alone.
too funny. well, I guess we are all high maintenance too, then!
MJS????
Hey Leslie-
I stumbled across your blog via facebook and I get a kick out of reading it! I just wanted to let you know there is a low tech solution to the pup tent thing- if you take a small box (shoe box works well), turn it on it's side (open end facing the person), then you can hold up the sheets with the box and the toes go inside the shoe box all protected from the sheets. I have never actually tried it before so I will leave the figuring out of all the details to you but maybe it will work!
MJS
Misaligned Joint Syndrome. Otherwise known as a lazy foot.
I am sorry for the sadness I am about to bring to the men who want to patent a pup tent, but yes there is such a thing. It hooks to the end of your bed (big enough only for one side) and you rest your covers over it. I do not believe it is called a pup tent and I'm sure you could create something similar that would look cooler. How do I know this? My grandmother used one during the last days of her cancer. Maybe you could track one down somewhere?
I must corroborate this annoyance with bedding-pinned feet. I mean, I'm all for a freshly made bed with clean, tucked sheets, but the feeling of my feet being pinned down without room to move about inspires a sleepless terror that can only be compared to slowly being flattened by an unmanned steamroller. I have to loosen them before I can fall asleep, it's unavoidable. Jodi seems rather numb to my plight, but I don't hold it against her.
Well said my friend. So we must languish on in silent, claustrophobic anguish.
The good news is that in a few decades, our feet may very well be mangled into a permanently curved state (much like Chinese girls who suffer from foot binding) and could be used as secondary gripping devices. Imagine drinking a beer and peeling a banana at the same time! We'll be such talented freaks.
Oh my goodness! What a break through for me. I too suffer from this dreaded fear that my feet will suffocate in the middle of the night and fall off. I think we might need a support network or a ten step self help program.
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