Lets be honest.

I think we should have a chat dear blog family.

Someone (thank you my other half) made it known to me recently that sometimes this blog doesn't exactly portray our life as it is lived. I think it's mainly because I'm a relatively positive person, and partly because who wants to do a bad day over? Not me. However, I thought maybe I should give you a glimpse into my life. My real life.

Today was pretty much a good day. Mostly because I worked this morning and then was able to go grocery shopping with only a sleeping Jackson. Any day that I can do house hold errands with only one child is a good day in my book. And dinner started out as a frozen block of pork and frozen mashed potatoes. So...not much was required of me to feed us. And then the boys both went down without a fuss around 8:30. Like I said, today was pretty much a good day.

Yesterday, not so much. I'm sick and felt like I'd been hit by a bus most of the day. Graham followed me around whining, so I let him watch like 3 movies in a row so that I could sort of doze on the couch and try to ignore my headache. Jackson was good yesterday...until bedtime.

I think most of my attitude problem revolves around my recent revelation that I'm a worrier. I worry about almost everything. I worry about getting my to-do list done every day. I worry that I won't get any me time each day. I worry that Graham will never eat a vegetable. I worry that Graham will squish Jackson when I'm not looking. I worry that Baxter is going to literally chew through the door frame in the kitchen. I worry when Matt leaves the house about him getting into a car accident. I worry about Graham watching too much TV. I worry that I watch too much TV. I worry about being able to pay our bills this month. I worry that our chimney is going to fall off the house. I worry about not holding Jackson enough. I worry....

I'm reminded of Matthew 6:33-34 "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for today is its own trouble."

Someone said something at Bible study this week that really struck me. "I may believe something with my whole heart and not trust it in this moment."

I believe that Jesus is on His throne. He lives! I am His and He loves me. More intimately than I can imagine. And I worry about Graham and his vegetables? Seriously? Show me a little perspective and I realize how insane my mom brain can be.

I've been learning so much at Bible study this semester. We've been studying the Psalms. Obviously there is much more to the Psalms than just prayer, but I've learned how I should be praying. I've been missing out! I should be praying confidently and honestly to my Abba Father. I forget that daily. Hourly.

All that to say...life isn't all cupcakes and bubbles in this house. Far from it.

Honestly, it's hard. I love my husband, my babies, and my family more than my own life.... but sometimes life is just hard.

And that's the truth.

Thankful Hearts

Thanksgiving.

A day full of family, food, memories, laughs...

And can't forget the post-meal-unbuttoning-the-top-button football watching (aka nap.)

I love it. Love the traditions, love the family, and love all the food.

We are blessed to have both of our families in town so we get to eat TWO, that's right TWO meals. Seriously yum. We'll have lunch with my family. And while all of the boys nap (young and old), the girls will lay out all of the black friday sales ads plotting our shopping schedule. It's intense this year since the Iron Bowl (Auburn vs. Alabama) is at 12:30 on Friday and our behinds need to be settled on the sofa for kickoff. Then we'll head over to Matt's parents for another fabulous meal, more memory sharing and laughing. We might need to drive two cars so that us and our incredibly stuffed selves can make it back home.

Oh, and along with all of our baby gear...the dog is joining us. We're dosing him with dramamine and crossing our fingers that he doesn't vomit in the car. Sweet dog.

Matt and I have been so blessed this year. We are healthy, we have a (super) active toddler who smiles and laughs all the time. We have a sweet sweet new little boy who's face lights up when he sees us. Those two little guys truly make our hearts swell with joy.

We have two wonderful families who love and support us and with whom we share many laughs.

And most importantly, we know that the joy we experience on this earth is a gift from our Heavenly Father. He gives us more blessings and mercies that we ever deserve. We are so thankful for His eternal love.

This year, we are thankful.

In search of animals

We went to the zoo the other day. It's beginning to feel a little more like fall. After fall comes winter...which means cold and not as much time outside. Big bummer. Graham was some kind of excited to go see the animals. His request was the tigers. And monkeys. Oh, and penguins.

Couldn't resist snapping one of this little guy on the way out the door. Love him.

"Say cheese Graham"

Such a sweet little face.

What do you see Graham?

Little guy the whole time...

Don't you just love the hat?

Giraffe family.

G thought it was so funny that there was a baby.

We spent a LONG time in the penguin exhibit because we got there at feeding time. G was in love with them jumping in and out of the water. Why I didn't get a picture we'll never know...

The animals are so much more active in the cooler temperatures. I'm pretty sure we're going to be going back every week until we're frozen in.

Fall = Mums

I love fall. The crisp cool air... the rustling leaves... the beautiful leaves changing colors.

We had some friends over for dinner and I couldn't resist these mums at the grocery store.

These beautiful ones are on my front porch. Last year I waited too long and didn't get the vibrant colors that I wanted. I learned my lesson.

I made my candy corn wreath with a friend earlier this month. Really cute, really tedious with all the candy and hot glue, but totally worth it.
Happy fall!

Two Little Penguins

There once were two little boys.

They put on black shirts and matching hats.

Then they were penguins.

Except the older one refused to cooperate and wear his hat.

But we bribed him. So we could get a few pictures.

"Graham, please just wear the hat so we can take some pictures" (followed by G just saying "cheese" as hard as he could...)

Momma and her penguins.

Penguin love.

Something obviously way cooler over there.

But not cool enough to get off the tractor.

See, we were in Kirkwood for their downtown trick or treating. The tractors were at the Farmer's Market. We then walked over to our friends' church Harvest Party.

There was a train for the kids (and parents) to ride.

While G and Matt were on the train....

Cue the series of adorable baby J.

It was a fun (and super chilly) evening. Because picky little G refused to wear his hat, and I forgot to bring his jacket...we called it a night early.

I'm hoping the penguins will join us as the trick or treaters come through our neighborhood Sunday afternoon. They're so cute.

Firetruck Birthday

Graham turned two! We celebrated our little guy along with his little buddy in a joint birthday party. Graham and Will are only 2 weeks apart and we share many friends. We hoped that the party wouldn't be complete mayhem....and it wasn't. Two year olds are so much fun! They all played really well together (and obviously not everyone was two...but they were all bigger than last year.)

The theme was firetrucks. Big hit. Firetrucks are awesome.

Taking pictures of toddlers is quite a challenge. They barely stay still long enough to take a breath. So trying to get Graham to look at the camera and smile was a long shot. So I asked him to show me his teeth. It worked. Bonus, he looks super funny.

Oh man, when did he get so big?

Birthday boy hug...

...turned wrestle.

G is a little confused as to which direction a fire hat goes.

We had put a hay bale into a wagon and hid some army men in there for the kids to find.

Throwing and rolling in the hay was way more entertaining.

We have some more pictures (like eating cake...) on another camera.

I guess I'll have to do another birthday post.

We had so much fun watching the little kiddies running around. Seeing them become friends and truly enjoy each other is so sweet!

Happy Birthday Graham and William!

Double Doctor Visit

Someone recently turned 2.

Someone else recently turned 2 months.

Isn't he adorable?

We did the big two year and two month visits back to back. Mistake. I'll just leave it at that. Next time they both need to go....we make two separate appointments. Having to undress both to weigh and such...then both do shots...then both get re-dressed (while screaming mind you, they just got a shot)....too hard to do by myself.

Anyway, I'll start with Graham. He is 24 lbs. 8 oz and 32.5 in. tall. That puts our big two year old in the 10th percentile. Now when I say big I'm most definitely aware that he is actually quite small. But what he may lack in size, he make up for with intensity. I had been prepping him for what the doctor's visit would be like. She'd be looking in his ears, nose, mouth and feel his belly. I was so incredibly proud of how he acted! The same Graham that usually freaks out when I go to the doctor or when anyone touches him or picks him up that he doesn't know...was a rockstar. He of course wanted me to hold his hand, but he did everything she asked without pushing her hands away and even laid down on the table for her to listen to his heart and feel his belly. Not one tear....until the shot. I rewarded him with cookies of course.

It is as if turning two opened a new world for him. He is talking all the time and using words we didn't even know he knew the meaning of. And he is making new two word pairings several times a day. He is still obsessed with sorting and setting things in rows. What I think is so funny is that even though it makes absolutely no sense to us, there is meaning to why he sets things up the way he does. He'll even tell me all about it. Today the horse was on top of the stable. And when I moved it (just to see his reaction), he said "no, no, no" and put it back. I asked him why and he proceeded to tell me what the horse (pronounced forsey) was doing up there. Mostly grunts and hand gestures of course. He loves to read, loves to build block houses for his playmobil people, loves to help me cook, and loves to say hi! to Jackson. We have been going to bible study every Tuesday for a month now and even though he tears up in the parking lot and says no, no, no all the way to the nursery door...oh, and screams hysterically when I leave, he is adjusting. He has taken to one of the workers and lets her hold him. And when I go back and check on him, he is of course with his favorite teacher, but he is participating and happy. Yay! We still don't do the nursery at church, mainly because the workers change every week... but also because he is quite good in the service. We bring his special bag of toys and a bunch of snacks and he just wallows around our seats (we have carpet where we sit). Maybe we'll just skip the nursery and start at Children's Church? We love the stage of fun and playing that he is in right now....he is such a ham!

Ok, now on to sweet little Jackson. We went in on the 11th, so he was technically only 7 weeks old...we'll just let that one go. He weighed in at 11 lb. 4 oz. and was 22.5 in. long. Little Jackson is in the 50th percentile! I was equally proud of how Jackson behaved during the visit. I mean, he didn't know what to expect...so of course he cried when she was shoving things in his ears and nose. One major difference between him and G was that G would nurse whenever I offered. It didn't matter if he had eaten 30 minutes before...if I offered, he'd eat. So I liked to nurse Graham when he was getting his shots to distract and comfort him. He rarely even cried because he was eating and the nurses were gentle. Jackson, not so much. It doesn't matter if it's been 3 hours since he last ate, if he isn't crying to eat when I offer, he screams in rejection. So I thought he'd nurse during his shot (since it had been hours since he'd last eaten), boy was I wrong. He was screaming in rejection, refusing to latch, I had a let-down, then there was the shot. Pure chaos. I tried again yesterday when I went back for another shot (we break them up, one at a time) just to see if it was a fluke. Nope, same screaming episode. So I won't be attempting that method of comforting next time. Poor little guy.

Jackson is quite the sweetheart. Unless he's hungry or not and I offer, he rarely really screams. He coos, smiles, has started that pre-laugh shriek, and loves to be held up so that he can look around. Oh, and loves him some bath time. He hates for me to suck out his nose, but who wouldn't. He loves for us to talk to him and rub his belly. He loooooves his swing. I'm not sure he'd ever sleep during the day without it - due to Graham's incredible volume. Seriously, he's so freaking loud all. the. time.

I love snuggling with him in the bed and watching him sleep. I love looking into those precious blue eyes. And I love love love hearing him call us with a loud coo from across the room. You know, the ones that so clearly take all their energy because it comes with a deep breath? Adorable.

We love you sweet Jackson!