I think we should have a chat dear blog family.
Someone (thank you my other half) made it known to me recently that sometimes this blog doesn't exactly portray our life as it is lived. I think it's mainly because I'm a relatively positive person, and partly because who wants to do a bad day over? Not me. However, I thought maybe I should give you a glimpse into my life. My real life.
Today was pretty much a good day. Mostly because I worked this morning and then was able to go grocery shopping with only a sleeping Jackson. Any day that I can do house hold errands with only one child is a good day in my book. And dinner started out as a frozen block of pork and frozen mashed potatoes. So...not much was required of me to feed us. And then the boys both went down without a fuss around 8:30. Like I said, today was pretty much a good day.
Yesterday, not so much. I'm sick and felt like I'd been hit by a bus most of the day. Graham followed me around whining, so I let him watch like 3 movies in a row so that I could sort of doze on the couch and try to ignore my headache. Jackson was good yesterday...until bedtime.
I think most of my attitude problem revolves around my recent revelation that I'm a worrier. I worry about almost everything. I worry about getting my to-do list done every day. I worry that I won't get any me time each day. I worry that Graham will never eat a vegetable. I worry that Graham will squish Jackson when I'm not looking. I worry that Baxter is going to literally chew through the door frame in the kitchen. I worry when Matt leaves the house about him getting into a car accident. I worry about Graham watching too much TV. I worry that I watch too much TV. I worry about being able to pay our bills this month. I worry that our chimney is going to fall off the house. I worry about not holding Jackson enough. I worry....
I'm reminded of Matthew 6:33-34 "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for today is its own trouble."
Someone said something at Bible study this week that really struck me. "I may believe something with my whole heart and not trust it in this moment."
I believe that Jesus is on His throne. He lives! I am His and He loves me. More intimately than I can imagine. And I worry about Graham and his vegetables? Seriously? Show me a little perspective and I realize how insane my mom brain can be.
I've been learning so much at Bible study this semester. We've been studying the Psalms. Obviously there is much more to the Psalms than just prayer, but I've learned how I should be praying. I've been missing out! I should be praying confidently and honestly to my Abba Father. I forget that daily. Hourly.
All that to say...life isn't all cupcakes and bubbles in this house. Far from it.
Honestly, it's hard. I love my husband, my babies, and my family more than my own life.... but sometimes life is just hard.
And that's the truth.
Noah and his wife taking the sports car for a spin.
A random row of "zooka men" as G calls them.
We find these things "set up" all over the house. And whatever you do... do not touch them.
Well ok, G's not looking at the camera, but he is smiling.
Or to make pancakes with extra chocolate chips?
He is a major funny man. We have to hide our faces all the time to keep him from seeing us laugh when we're supposed to be correcting him.
He is so precious.
There isn't anything he won't say. He has more opinions than my grandmother. And he won't eat anything but yogurt, goldfish, and fruit leathers. I love my toddler.
I propped Jackson up and thought he looked so funny sitting on the bed by himself. It didn't last long. Mr. "two babies" wanted up too.
But he wouldn't sit still.... so I threatened him... which led to tears.
J looks totally unaware of the drama.
Sweet little Jackson. 
