Under Construction

Ok, I feel like this is the story of my life. Just as I feel like I've got a tiny handle on something, it slips through my fingers.

A lesson in faith perhaps?

I think the frequency of my blog posts is a direct indicator of how busy (or mismanaged) my life is at the moment.

Two kids is crazy y'all! I know you moms out there with more children are laughing at me right now. I can hear you.

In the spirit of being real though.... there's been some reevaluating and rearranging of things going on in my little world.

Once again, I need to die to self. Once again, I need to remember what my job is. It is a tremendous honor, privilege, fun, and yet being a mom is the hardest thing I do. Kids are demanding...and they know when you're not giving them everything. They know when you don't have a plan for the day. They know when you're not paying them the attention they need. They know when you'd rather be doing something else. I have no idea how, but they know.

Matt has been doing some restructuring of his business in the last month. He's been working and preparing for like the last six months, but now it's happened. I'm so proud of how hard he works. Not many people I know get to do their hobby and passion in life as their job. And he does. Yes, it poses some logistical and marital difficulties when he can't turn work off at the end of the day or over the weekend because he loves thinking about all things design. But that's another post... I think the title could be "You, Me and Design." I'm kidding around here. Sort of.

Long story short; he's happy, he's empowered, he has work, and that makes for one busy husband. One who works long hours and weekends.

It also makes for one tired momma. And those kids? They know when I'm tired. Why then doesn't Graham take the opportunity to behave and give me some extra cuddling? Why must he choose now to be the time to really pull out all the stops with the tantrums? Why must Jackson think that waking up between six and seven is his newest great idea?

I'm a busy person, it's hard for me to rest. It's hard for me to be still. There's always a running list of things to do, places to go, errands to run, people to call or visit. If anyone's figured out a way to turn this off, please let me know!

But after getting my umteenth cold and the third sinus infection of the season recently, I got it. I see the writing on the wall. I need to rest. Why do I feel the need to run all the time?

It's like if I stand still I can hear Jesus saying "It's ok, I have a plan for your life. Rest. Rest with your boys. Rest in your home. Rest in your marriage. My plan is better. My timing is better."

No matter how much I know these things, I forget. In the midst of tantrums, budgets, job changes, house problems, lack of sleep..... I forget.

But He doesn't. I'm so thankful for His timing and His purposes. Just give me a slap on the back of my head occasionally ok? Thanks.